JOKE OF THE DAY: “The Divorce Call”

An old man picked up the phone one afternoon, sighed deeply, and dialed his son’s number.

“Listen,” he said the moment his son answered. “Your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough.”

The son nearly dropped the phone.

“Dad, what are you talking about? You and Mom are the most stubborn couple I know — you don’t even agree on pizza toppings, but you’ve survived everything together!”

The old man sounded exhausted. “We can’t stand each other anymore. I’m tired of seeing her face every morning, and I’m done talking about this. Call your sister and let her know.”

Then — click.

He hung up.

The son sat there in stunned silence for a moment, then scrambled for his phone again. His hands were shaking as he dialed his sister’s number.

“Lisa, it’s me. I just got off the phone with Dad. He says he and Mom are getting divorced.”

“What?!” Lisa practically shouted through the phone. “They can’t! They’ve been together since forever!”

“I tried to talk to him, but he hung up. He told me to call you.”

Lisa’s eyes widened, panic flashing across her face as she grabbed her car keys — even though she lived hundreds of miles away.

“This is insane,” she said, pacing. “There’s no way we’re letting this happen.”

Without hesitation, she hung up and called her father. The phone rang twice before he picked up.

“Dad!” she yelled. “You are NOT getting divorced! Do you hear me?”

“Lisa—”

“No! I don’t want to hear it! My brother and I are flying home tomorrow morning to talk this through in person. Until then, do not call a lawyer or sign anything! Got it?”

“Yes, dear,” the old man said meekly.

“Good.” She hung up, her heart still racing.

The old man stared at the phone for a long moment. Then he slowly turned to his wife, who was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping tea and flipping through a magazine.

He grinned.

“Well,” he said, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving.”

His wife looked up, unimpressed. “Did you tell them we were paying for their flights?”

He chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Not yet. I figured we’d drop that bomb once they arrive.”

The Great Family Reunion

The next day, the siblings rushed into their childhood home, bursting through the door like firefighters responding to an emergency.

“Mom! Dad!” Lisa called out. “We’re here! Please, tell us what’s going on!”

Their parents were sitting calmly at the kitchen table, sipping coffee and munching on toast.

“Oh, you made it!” their mother said sweetly. “How was the flight?”

“The flight?!” the son exclaimed. “You two are getting divorced, and you’re asking about the flight?”

His father looked up with a perfectly straight face. “Divorced? Oh, no. That was just to get you two to come visit.”

Lisa’s jaw dropped. “WHAT?”

Her mother smiled warmly. “You never call, you never visit. We figured if we said we were dying, you’d send flowers. But divorce? That gets you on a plane.”

The son stood frozen. “You tricked us?”

“Absolutely,” the father said, grinning. “And since you’re here, the garage door’s been acting up, and your mother could use help setting up her new phone.”

The Real Lesson

For a long moment, the room was silent. Then the siblings burst out laughing.

Lisa shook her head. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“Oh, please,” their mother said, waving her hand. “You two are so busy with your own lives that we had to get creative. Do you know the last time we saw you both at the same table?”

“Last Christmas,” the son said.

“Exactly,” the father replied. “And that was two years ago.”

Lisa sighed, sitting down. “You could’ve just asked us to visit.”

“Oh, we did,” her father said. “Three times. You said you were busy. So we thought—let’s make it dramatic. Worked like a charm.”

Her mother winked. “After forty-five years of marriage, you learn a thing or two about persuasion.”

Dinner, Memories, and a Little Payback

By evening, the house smelled like roast turkey, mashed potatoes, and cinnamon. The siblings had unpacked, laughed over old family photos, and even helped fix that stubborn garage door.

After dinner, they all sat together on the porch.

Lisa leaned back, smiling. “You know, this might’ve been the smartest trick you ever pulled.”

The old man nodded. “That’s marriage for you — equal parts patience, teamwork, and strategy.”

His wife smirked. “You forgot manipulation.”

Everyone laughed.

Then she added, “Next time, though, you’re the one paying for their flights.”

Her husband sighed dramatically. “Worth every penny.”

A Week Later

When the siblings flew back home, they promised to visit more often. And for a while, they did — weekly phone calls, regular check-ins, and even surprise visits just to say hi.

But eventually, life got busy again.

Work. Kids. Schedules.

Then, one evening, Lisa’s phone buzzed. A text from Dad.

Dad: “Hey, your mom and I are separating again. Forty-six years this time.”

Lisa rolled her eyes and hit call.

“Nice try, Dad. When’s dinner?”

He chuckled. “Saturday at six. Bring dessert.”

Moral of the Story

Never underestimate the creativity of parents who miss their kids.

After decades of marriage, they may have their arguments — but they’ve also mastered the fine art of emotional blackmail, humor, and unconditional love.

And as for that “divorce”?
Let’s just say they’re still happily together…
scheming their next plan to get everyone home for Christmas.